i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
