it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize