Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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