Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
