she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
