Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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