Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
