Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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