I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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