my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
