She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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