I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
