So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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