Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize