and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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