and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
