I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
