I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
