When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize