sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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