So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
