i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize