Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
