Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
