I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
