you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize