Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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