like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize