Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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