There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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