Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
A+ Viking dick
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
