I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
