This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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