I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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