So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
