Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
