i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
