I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
