I hope mine doesn't look like that
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
