how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
