sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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