Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
