just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
