6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
