We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize