running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
