last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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