Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize