My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Houston, we have a squirter
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
