plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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