You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
