This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
