shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
