idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Come back. Shots need mouths.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
