for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
