you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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