First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
what day is it and did you see me today?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
