my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
