If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
