you win again, gameday.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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