Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You can't special order awesome
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
