Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
