I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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