so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
