Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I want a musical about memes.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
