I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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