i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
