drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize