I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
