I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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