Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
